User Profile

What you won't find here: poetry, podcasts, emoticons, animation, abuse, praise, indifference, dental records, Associated Board exam certificates, four-track demos of me sounding like a disfigured version of Joni Mitchell, hilarious anecdotes involving my children, pictures of Ricky Gervais on fire, the latest traffic news, links to badly-scanned photographs of forgotten-before-the-arrival-of-the-worldwideweb cartoon characters, opinions about Dragon's Den contestants, the greatest albums in the history of the world to have been remixed by ex-members of the New Fast Automatic Daffodils, detailed and conclusive descriptions of the Balls of Steel production team's autopsies, a side-splitting mash-up of David Bowie's "The Heart's Filthy Lesson" and Matthew Marsden's "The Heart's Lone Desire", some Laser 558 jingles from 1984 which cut off just before the end, a mahogany cabinet which opens out into a 28" colour television with remote control, the home telephone numbers of Mark Lawson or Stafford Hildred, a six-minute youtube clip of St Spaniel's year eight staging a production of Sarah Kane's Blasted, and some fan fiction centred around characters from the hugely popular Channel 4 sitcom Captain Butler.

What this might have been called, but isn't: Phileas Blog, Bloggin the Blog, A Little Mouse With Blogs On, Maxiblog, Blog on the Tyne, Bloggins & Messina, Big Breadwinner Blog, Ray Moore's Bog-Eyed Blog.

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